Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Nine Years

Vickie Lynn Worth

I still miss you Mommy.

I was trying to figure out what to say, and the only thing that comes to mind are lyrics to the Fleetwood Mac song 'Landslide'. I think lyrics can mean so many things to people, and for some reason these ones hit me hard this year. Perhaps it is because I am turning 30, and feeling like I am saying good bye to my 'childhood' in someways.

It took me so long to deal with the loss of my mom, and I think in some ways I still am. I find new ways to look at things, ways to grow and ways to grieve. Perhaps with the coming of a new child, I feel extra sad this year. Another little one she won't hold... but yet she is holding that little one now as they grow inside me... at least that is how I always seem to picture it.

Like Ariel's pregnancy, the eagle has been a daily reminder of her presence like a guardian angel. I haven't noted it until now because in some ways I am still amazed by such a simple sight, that comes without fail when ever I think about it. Coincident? I think not, I don't think that way.

So today its been nine years... and I will think of this song, and remember her.

I took my love, I took it down
Climbed a mountain and I turned around
I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
till the landslide brought me down

Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love
Can the child within my heart rise above
Can I sail thru the changing ocean tides
Can I handle the seasons of my life

Well, Ive been afraid of changing
cause Ive built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older
Im getting older too

Oh, take my love, take it down
Climb a mountain and turn around
If you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well the landslide will bring it down

If you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well maybe the landslide will bring it down

Love Jay


Dianne said...

Hugs, friend. Thinking of you today.

Kelly Benita said...

I would imagine you'll always be dealing with the loss of your Mom in some way or another. And this year is tougher; i'll be praying for you especially today.

Amy said...

You know she has met both of your babies in heaven, so she has held them, and she does know them!
I will be thinking o you today!!

tracie said...

Thoughts and prayers sent!

Tera said...

Prayers and hugs for you. I can imagine this would be a more difficult time for you.

♥ LyNnE ♥ said...

Just wanted to let you know that I was thinking of you.

Brenda said...

(((hugs))) Jay. We love you!

Karen said...


Michelle said...

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} I"m sorry and I hope you know you're in my thoughts and prayers.

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