So today was the day... we buried my mom's ashes. Some of you might be surprised at that, but I don't want to go into the why it took so long, but more so that the chapter is finally closed, and how good it feels. After my letter was read at church, it kinda finally felt like I was free again. When you carry such a heavy burden in your heart, it makes it difficult to sometimes grow and change. I have done so much growth since Ariel was born, that it was time to face things that weren't dealt with years ago.
In the past few weeks, I was taking care of things in preparation for this day. Finding a vessel for her ashes, flowers, picking a spot for the burial... all things that in a way got me thinking about what she might have liked or wanted. I wanted it to be about her, and have it mean something. After meeting with the funeral home people, it became apparent that I wanted to go to Granville Island, one of my mom's favorite places, and buy a blue ceramic container. She loved pottery and it seems so simple and suiting for her. It was amazing how beautiful it looked today with the sun hitting it. How it looked so much more that a simple pot, and yet it was no match for any of those overpriced urns. It had character and a story. It was made with the hands of an artist, as a vessel to hold the remains that was also the work of the ultimate artist.
The cemetery was beautiful. Not something you might say about such things. I had never been in a more peaceful place. It was warm and when you walk in, it feels right. Off to the left, a tree with an eagles nest. Enough said. I look forward to many visits up there as a place to remember and reflect. A place where I can leave my burden and walk out the gates with hope.
The flowers were lovely. Seven white roses, one for each year we have missed her. One little pink rose with a ribbon lay on its own, from the grand daughter she watches over. It was so nice to have so many friends come out. It was simple, sweet and at times funny. We sang a few songs, and the rain stayed away, except for a few sprinkles.
We gathered for tea and goodies afterwards. Rose and Lori were so kind in putting it together, and it was a real treat. Its so nice to have friends. We laughed watching Ariel eat several pieces of water melon and a whole scone, that girl can pack it back! Then came the thunder and lightening and downpour, very thankful that held off during our ceremony.
But for everything that when right, there always is an oops. It came this morning at church in our bulletin. There was someone filling in this week in the office, and the note telling people about the service today had a few mistakes. One, her name (AGAIN) spelt wrong, not really a surprise, but getting a little old now. Heh. The big mistake, instead of saying that we were interring her ashes today, it said we were incinerating them. Oh good grief. Kinda the wrong word... but I guess nothing can be done now. Oh well. Might be good that is explained at some point so that isn't done again, as its somewhat upsetting.
Ken is leaving tomorrow. I am REALLY gonna miss him! It could be a long week. I have lots planned to keep me busy, so it should help. Then on Saturday we will celebrate our 6th wedding anniversary. Crazy.
To sum up the weekend, here is Ariel laughing. As Martha says, 'Its a good thing.'
1 comment:
Definitely some tough stuff to work through. I'm so glad for you and proud of you for coming this far. Wish I could live closer and be more of a support for you through all these struggles!
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