Monday, May 01, 2006


Today I am 27, wow... strange. Its funny how as you get older your birthday seems different. We got in late last night, and at one point I woke up and had to visit the bathroom, when I got back to bed I saw the clock said 12:05am... it was official. It was weird. I didn't feel older, I didn't feel super excited, I just felt...the same. I guess age is now more so a number.

I remember how you couldn't wait to be 10, double digits. Then it was 13, because you were officially a teenager. Then it was sweet 16 and that desire to drive... well maybe for most kids. Then 19 came along and you were legal drinking age, another one of those things I never seemed interested in. Then 21, when you were really somewhat an adult. That never seemed more true on my 21st birthday. My mom had died just a month prior and I was in a tail spin of where to go from here moments.

Suddenly, I was finishing my schooling and getting engaged. Within a year I was really making some of the largest decisions I would ever make. When I look back now, it really was a blur at times, but I wouldn't change a thing. Ken has given me back my birthday again when I felt it was taken away in a moment of change.

He has always been sweet and spoiled me in ways I would ever dream. Just simple things like getting up really early (which is so hard for my hard working guy who gets up early as it is) to make me breakfast in bed. Who takes me to Victoria for my 25th, and gets this huge suite overlooking the harbour. Finds or makes me cute gifts that only he would know I would love. Its a strange, but mindblowing connection we have, and it truly makes me feel blessed everyday I have him in my life.

As I approch the new phase of life and motherhood, I think so many thoughts. Am I ready? Will I be a good mom? And really the saddest thought, will I be there for my kids past age 45? Age is a bit scary now. I know the year I turn the age my mom did when she died will be the hardest thing I will ever have to face. Part of me wishes I could get it over with, but then I would miss all the joy inbetween. I love my life, and I know that when the day comes I will face it head on.

I am 27 today, and do you know why I feel so blessed? I am offically 27 weeks pregnant today. That didn't happen by chance, its a gift from above, and a reminder that the best is yet to come.

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